Serena: Lupin's cousin ? !
by xXxMusic is my boyfriendxXx
Summary: SMxHP: Serena goes to visit her cousin after the battle with Chaos. Sirius is drunk. Voldy is emo. And you get to vote on pairings! Set in fifth year... suggest anything in chapters... summary sucks but please read! REVIVED!
1. short prologue

Sup! This is Tsuki No Koneko here, and I finally decided to do that serious story and or crossover I promised you. But, then I got lazy and decided to do them both in one. Now for the good ol' D.W.N. that every good story needs!

**_D_**isclaimer: I asked for Sailor Moon and Harry Potter for Christmas. I got socks instead. 

**_W_**arning: Dear Tracie and Starsa, Don't read this! You do not like Sailor moon and will not get half of the story so don't bother. Everyone else--- please do!

**_N_**ote: This is set in the golden trio's fifth year, only The ministry believes that Voldemort is back because I SAY SO. …also… Sirius, Remus, Harry, Ron and Tonks are all O.C. 'cause it's more fun that way. --- Sirius's personality will be based off of Captain Jack Sparrow. YAY PIRATES!!!!!! also, thank you 'K' for reviewing this chapter. I'm very proud of it!

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**In Sailor Moon's world, after the battle with Chaos**

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Serena sat on the ground, crying. Chibi-chibi was in her lap, looking up sadly at her "Older sister's" teary face. The three star lights had resurrected their princess and left, totally and completely forgetting about the blonde and cherry-colored odango-headed senshi that they'd left crying on the cold, hard ground of the torn battle field. "Come on," Serena said, "let's get out of here." But as she picked up Chibi-chibi to leave, Queen Selenity's hologram appeared before them. "Mother?" Serena asked. "I have a place for you to go." The Queen told her, "Do you remember your old relatives? The ones you lived with until _he_ almost found out about your existence?" Serena nodded. She remembered the wizarding world and how she had been kept a secret from it. It had been before she knew she was sailor moon, back then she couldn't explain the wandless magic she used, so she had lived in secret with her older cousin so as Voldemort wouldn't find out about her. When she was seven, she'd left to go to Tokyo. She'd posed as an orphan and been adopted by the muggle family she grew up with. She'd almost forgotten. "Am I to go back?" she asked. The queen nodded, "I know where he is, I'll send you to him." There was a flash of light, and the battle field empty.

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**At that one secret house place who's name escapes me… something to do with thirteen… whatever.**

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The Order, The golden trio, and some other people I don't feel like mentioning were asleep in the living room, after a long night of discussing Voldemort, (all except Remus and Sirius) when suddenly the doorbell rang and that portrait started screaming her head off (review and tell me who that person is!!! I don't have access to my sister's Harry Potter books! Anyway…) "Filthy mudbloods and traitors! How dare you let them in my house! Why you…" Sirius threw a bottle of Fire whiskey and a match at the portrait. We're going to miss her. NOT! Once Sirius sat down again, he said "Come in! the door's ope--- ow! Remus! Why'd you hit me?!" "How drunk are you? It could be a death eater!" Remus whispered harshly, "OH!" Sirius said, "Ok. HEY YOU! In the doorway! If you're a death eater, please leave! This is NOT Sirius Black, I repeat, this is NOT Sirius Bla--- OW!" "Who is it?" Remus called with his wand out, completely oblivious to the fact that Sirius was now laying on the floor, kicking his ankle. A familiar looking teenaged blonde walked out of the shadows holding a toddler in her arms "I'm back." She said.

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The next chapters will be much longer, I promise! Please review, no flaming. AND THAT MEANS YOU, KELLY!!!! 


	2. introduction, angels, & Jedi mind tricks

Sup! This is just me again, I usually won't update THIS often, but I kind of wanted to get the story going. I know _I_ hate fan fictions that don't update after the first chapter so… yeah. Now for the D.W.N.!!!

**_D_**isclaimer: If I DID own Sailor moon and Harry Potter, we'd all be in for it!

**_W_**arning: This WILL be a serious story, but with comic relief. (A.K.A. Sirius) also, once again, I would like to inform you that about a quarter of the characters are O.C. to make the story funnier, and flaming me about it will do nothing. Also, Serena is about 15 and a half right now, so she'd be in the same year as Harry and them if she went to Hogwarts.

**_N_**ote: Thank you to 'K' for reviewing, although you should probably sign in or sign up so I can thank you right away. Also, no, I think I'll bring back a few characters, but not Darien/Mamoru. I didn't like him much either. He never even acted like he liked her, they looked more like good friends than a couple.

NOW ONTO THE STORY!!!!!

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They stared at the newcomers in the doorway, the blonde, the one who had spoken, was wearing a white, flowing dress with gold rims (A.K.A. her princess dress, DUH!) and had a crescent moon on her forehead along with angle wings, her hair was put up in to odango-spheres with long, strait tails of golden hair that went down to her shins, and stopped with two, small ringlets. In one hand she held a royal looking scepter, in the other an oddly dressed toddler with a similar hairstyle. When Sirius caught sight of her, he screamed, "AAAAHHHH!!!!! An angel!!!! I'm dead! Oh, god, why me?! Why not worm tail?! Make the icky rat die, not man's best friend! AHHHH!!!!!!!" he stopped screaming as soon as Lupin slapped the back of his head. "Oh," Serena said, "sorry." She was about to de-transform when creature came downstairs and yelled, "An angel? Oh, thank Merlin, I'm dead! Yay!!!!! No more mudbloods! No more taking orders from blood traitors! This is the happiest day of my non-existent life! Yippee! ---" he was about to cheer more when Serena decided to de-transform and burst his bubble, so she did! Yay for Serena!

And with a flash of light, Serena stood there, wingless, moonless, crownless, and scepterless. She was wearing a light blue sleeveless, turtle neck, and had on a dark blue pixie skirt to her knees, that matched her eyes. She was had a gold star-shaped locket strung around her neck with a thin, shining gold chain, (the locket Darien/Mamoru gave her is now her transformation locket.) Chibi-chibi had jumped out of her arms, and was now holding onto her leg for dear life. Luna and Artimus were on either side of her, looking up and watching Sirius spaz out. While Sirius ran around the room screaming about some conspiracy of angels turning into humans and such, Serena turned to Remus "long time no see!" she said cheerily. (no rhyme intended) "little cousin Serena?" he asked, "when did you get not little?!" "Uuuuhhh…" she started "yesterday?" Remus slapped his hand to his forehead, "Let me rephrase that, why did you come to visit me? Why now?" "Because my adoptive family died." She said calmly. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" he said. "Don't be, Trista says that everybody has to die sometime. She even predicted their deat…" "Who's Trista?" Remus interrupted her "uuuuhh… I never said Trista." she said slowly as she motioned her hand like the Jedi mind trick. "That only works in Star wars movies. Not real life." "yes it does." She said, failing again. Remus gave her a look. "Yeah, ok, so it doesn't. But you don't have to be a smart alec about it!" she said defensibly. Seeing that she didn't want to give him an answer to the question he'd asked, he dropped it. NOT!

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Later, after Serena explained the whole story, about six a.m. (It's a long story!)

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"Wow." Remus said. "Well, you're tired, aren't you?" he asked. She nodded, and, after she picked up the sleeping Chibi-chibi from her lap and yelled 'WAKE-UP!' where Luna and Artimus had been sleeping, he lead her to a room right next to where Hermione and Ginny were. It was fairly clean, other than the occasional dust bunny, and she could redecorate later. And after Lupin told them they would sort things out after she got some rest (it was halfway through summer, so she wouldn't have to go to Hogwarts too soon, or, hopefully, at all.), she and Chibi-chibi went strait to sleep on the first bed they reached, as Luna and Artimus layed at the foot of the bed. He went down stairs, and took a nap on the sofa that Sirius WASN'T passed out on.

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10:30 p.m., every body's downstairs for breakfast (They all spent the night)

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Harry, Ron, and the twins are staring at Remus and Sirius. "Well, Mum told us to wake them up." Ron said. "Why do you think they're so tired?" Harry asked, "I mean they slept through your Mom yelling and all that…" "Just wake them up already!" Fred and George said in unision. Suddenly, a small, unfamiliar looking toddler with raspberry colored hair ran up to Ron and grabbed his leg. "AHH!" He screamed, "SOMETHING'S GOT MY LEG!" "Chibi chibi chibi!" Chibi-chibi squealed as they watched her run up and jump on Remus "CHIBI!" she screamed. Remus opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Chibi-chibi, what are you doing awake?" he asked. "Where's Serena?" Then he saw the other four people in the room. "Chibi-chibi and Serena who?" they all asked. "OH! I knew there was something I was forgetting! They're my cousins. They came last night." He said simply. "why didn't you tell us they were coming?" Harry asked. "I didn't know." "How long will they be here?" Ron asked. "I'm Serena's Godfather, and her parents just died a few days ago, so… yeah. A while." He said. Just then, Sirius woke up yelling, "AHH! Am I still dead?" Remus turned to face him, "No, but obviously your still drunk." He blinked a few times before asking, "Where'd the angel go?" Serena walked down the stairs in an outfit similar to the one she was wearing the day before, only green. "AAHH!! It';s the angel! I'm still dead!" he yelled. Serena stopped mid-step and blinked like Sirius had earlier before saying proudly, "I'll take that as a compliment." She turned her gaze to her 'sister', "Chibi-chibi, you shouldn't run off like that!" "Chibi!" said the only one in the room that would say 'chibi' as a response (DO I REALLY HAVE TO SAY IT?!) Just then Mrs. Weasley walked in. "Boys, I thought I told you to wake up Remusss…..AH!" she said as Chibi-chibi ran across the room, jumped up and grabbed onto her arm, holding onto it for dear life. Shocked, she was about to shake Chibi-chibi off when Remus said "don't worry, Molly, it's just my little cousin Chibi-chibi. Her and her sister, Serena, came here last night." Mrs. Weasley took a closer look at the toddler grabbing onto her arm. "oh." She said simply. "Chibi-chibi, get off, don't be rude!" Serena said as she proceeded and succeeded in walking down the stairs again. (Teehee! Rhyme!) "Remus, why didn't you tell us your cousins were coming? I would've made more food!" Remus rolled his eyes. "It wasn't planned, Molly!" he said. "Lucky for you I made extra!" she said, completely ignoring him. "Now come on, everyone, breakfast will get cold! You, too, Serena!" And with Chibi-chibi on her arm, she led everyone into the kitchen. Serena blinked a few times before following. And, after a number of introductions and unanswered questions, they ate breakfast.

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Aaaaaannnnndddd CUT!

HA! I told you! This was TWICE as long as the last chapter! Also, I know it was boring, but I wanted to explain her getting settled and stuff. Remember, the more reviews I get, the longer the next chapter will be. And the more stuff happens in them, too. So... Bye! R&R please!

Also, remember that you can vote on couples, which characters I bring back, and suggest pretty much anything in chapters in your reviews. Speaking of which… REVIEW!


	3. NOTE!

MUAHAHAHA!!!!! the polls are going quite well!

A. I refuse to update until I get at least one more review. (SIGNED, PLEASE!)

B. No, I won't stop describing her clothes.

C. The pairings I'm leaning towards right now are-

Ron/Hermione

Remus/Tonks

Sirius/ a bottle of fire whiskey

Ginny/Colin Creevey

...and...wait for it...

HARRY/SERENA!!!! Muahahahaha!!!!

(But nothings decided yet.) KEEP VOTING!

D. also, no, Serena will not be a Serena-Sue. In the last battle, she will either refuse to help him with Voldemort himself because Setsuna/Trista told her not to, or she will transform and faint. She tends to do that a lot.

E. I am planning to bring back a few senshi, preferably Raye, Mina, Hotaru, Trista, and maybe Haruka or Rini. So I need suggestions for pairings on them.

F. also, once again, suggest anything in reviews. What happens next, funny things for Sirius to do, that junk. So…BYE!


	4. getting to know eachother

Alright! Sorry it took so long to update but I haven't felt up to it. I got strep throat THREE TIMES and many other excuses I don't feel like typing. So anywayz I get to spend this weekend in the car and at a crappy hotel so I can go see my least favorite sister at A&M! Woo-hoo. Also, just incase this wasn't fun enough; I get to go spend over half of my spring break in St. Louis to get my braces tightened for free. Joy. Now for the D.W.N.! 

**_D_**isclaimer: ME. NO. OWN.!!!!!!

**_W_**arning: Less Sirius in this chapter, sorry!

**_N_**ote: I did use most suggestions made in this chapter, a special thanks to all who cared enough to review!

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**Now on to the story!!!!!!**

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As Serena sat down and the adults started talking, she began to empty her plate, all the while completely oblivious to the pair of green, glasses-covered eyes that were now staring off into space. (A/N: Isn't Serena completely oblivious to everything? Lol)

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**Harry's thoughts (A/N: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!)**

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'Maybe I should make a pro/con list? Ok, let's see… I had a crush on Cho practically all of last year . . . that's a pro for her. Serena's hott . . . three pros for her. Cho's not all that hott. CON! By the end of the Summer I'll know Serena a lot better than Cho. Serena plus pro equals very yes. If we went out to dinner then I would be able to brag to people that I'm rich by paying for Serena, whereas Cho's anorexic. Con for Cho, pro for Serena. I've seen Cho crying, and it's not a pretty sight. I saw Serena crying on the way over to the table when she tripped, and it didn't look as bad. Plus, she stopped as soon as we said, 'Serena, please stop crying.' Con for Cho, double pro for Serena. So that's . . . Serena: seven pros, no cons. And Cho: one pro, three cons. Wait, which ones good? Pros or cons? Maybe I'll ask Hermione . . . nope, hold on just a second, Harry. Think of the consequences. What would she say? Ooh! I know!

"_A PRO/CON LIST?! Really, Harry, blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah! Honestly! You know I read in Hogwarts: a history that blah blah blah blah blah blee blee bloo! Blah blah blah blah the dictionary is my best friend blah blah blah! And just so you know blah blah blah blah blah blah!!! And blah blah blah blah I married a book blah blah blah! SO JUST GROW UP! HONESTLY, blah!"_

Wow. Ok, I'm just going to go with Serena and hope that pros are good. Phew!'

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**Normal P.O.V.**

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So after Serena finished her seventh helping, --and everybody else finished their first or second--, Serena got up to help Mrs. Weasley with the dishes. Harry watched her the whole time. After that, She headed upstairs. Harry followed. (A/N: awwww!!!!! Serena's got her very first stalker!!!!!!!! Kawii!) Harry stopped her at the top of the stairs to introduce himself, "Hi, I'm Harry." He said. "Yes, I . . . _figured that from the scar_." Serena said sarcastically, pointing a slim finger at his forehead. "Oh. Right." Harry anime-sweat-dropped. "Well, do you want to talk?" Harry asked. Serena shrugged, "Ok. Sure."

So they walked aimlessly around the entire third floor of number twelve Grimmauld Place until they found a second living room and started talking. "So last year . . . " Harry started to talk, but was interrupted by Remus opening the door. "Serena, there's someone here I'd like you to meet." He said, and she followed him back out. About an hour later she came back, "Sorry." She said, "Cousin Remus just wanted me to meet some 'Moody' guy. _The name kinda fit…_Now, what were you saying?" "Well, I was just about to tell you about the time when . . ." "AH!" Serena had been walking back over to one of the couches whe she tripped on an empty test tube with 'Property of Fred and George Weasley A.K.A _THE BEST QUITTICH PLAYERS IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!_' written on it (that hadn't been there earlier, might I add (A/N: _now I wonder where Harry's invisibility cloak has gone off to . . . ?_)), causing her to fall on top of Harry.

All of the sudden, Fred burst in and took a picture while George grabbed the test tube and they both ran out of the room screaming, "_Harry and Serena, sitting in a tree! Making, making, O-U-T!"_

It took about half an hour for Harry and Serena to catch them and set their camera on fire. Pretty soon they were right back where they started, panting on the floor. Harry attempted to continue talking, "So last year there was this Tri-wizard tournament, and my. . ." "LUNCHTIME!!!!" Ron yelled as he swung the door open.

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**Ok, so after lunch and a few more interruptions . . . .**

**OUT IN THE HALL

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**

Sirius was stumbling drunkenly holding five half-empty bottles of fire whiskey when one dropped to the floor with a loud clanging noise at the same time that a certain Rasberry haired toddler came around the corner looking for her "Big Sister" . . .

Chibi-chibi walked strait up to the half-full bottle ((A/N: SEE!!!!! I can see the bottle half empty AND half-full!!!! Take _that _therapy!!!!!!!)) and picked it up. She smelt the liquid briefly before turning her head away in disgust, with a face just like when Serena had first tried sour candy . . .

_**(flashback)**_

_ Serena was at Lita's apartment when she saw Lita chewing on something in the kitchen. So, being the dumpling head she is, she whined, "Lita, what're you eating????? I get hungry too, ya know!!!!" "What? Oh! Just some skittles. I don't think you want any, though. They're sour-" "I CAN TOO HANDLE SOUR THINGS!!!!!!" Serena interrupted her right before yelling "GIMME!" and taking the bag from Lita and pouring the entire jumbo sized bag in her mouth._

_(Zooming to outside the building,)_

_(Zooming to outside Tokyo)_

_(Zooming to a map showing a shaking Japan)_

_( Zooming to show a shaking WORLD.)_

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_(In the Negaverse)_

"_WOULD YOU TELL OUR NEIGHBORS TO QUIET. DOWN.???????????"_

_(back in Lita's Apartment)_

_ Serena is chugging water and tea while Lita is sprawled out on the floor with Serena's trademark dizzy/swirly eyes and is Anime-sweatdropping with her tongue hanging out of her mouth as if she were dead._

**END FLASHBACK

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**

**IN THE ROOM

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**

Serena and Harry were trying in vain again to talk, when suddenly Chibi-chibi walked in with a bottle of Fire-whiskey and walked up to Serena and said, "Chibi, chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi-chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi?" Serena just got all mad and said, "NO I WON'T PUT SUGAR IN IT!!!!!!!!!!! HOW'D YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON THAT, ANYWAY????????" "Chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi!" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SIRIUS GAVE IT TO YOU????????????????????????????????" "Chibi chibi:D" Serena turned to a very confused Harry and said, "Gomen, Harry-kun, but please excuse me for a second. I have a drunken black dog to brutally murder." And at that, she gave a little Japanese bow and ran out into the hallway. Back in the room you could hear-

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! THE ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! _NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

BANG!

CLANG!

"WHAT WERE YOU _THINKING_???????????? GIVING ALCHOHAL TO A SMALL CHILD . . . "!!!!!

CRACK!

CLATTER!

"OW!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT ANGELS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE! . . . . BAD ANGEL! BAD!"

KICK!

CRUSH!

"I'M NOT A F-BEEP-'N TENSHI!!!!"

THUMP!

BUMP!

"HIYAAAAHHH!!!!!!"

PUNCH!

CHOP!

"TAKE THAT!"

"_MOMMY!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!"_

"Oh. That's right. I burned mommy. DARN YOU, AUTHOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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I would just like to point out that whatever burning or sabotaging of portraits is not any fault of my own. Sirius did that of his own accord and drunkenness.

**_I am Tsuki No Koneko and I am not making an I-aprove-this-messege joke.

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_**

So after a lot of more random noises and cries for help, the author realized that she did not feel like typing all of this tonight, and wanted to post this chapter right away. So she decided to tell you in summary form that Serena finished pounding on him, hid all the fire whiskey, and talked to Harry some more. After that, Dumbledore came by to collect from his bitches, and Serena got to threaten the sorting hat into placing her in Gryffindor. It worked and the sorting hat grew legs and ran away, screaming for his life. And after _that, _Serena made up for it by making a new sorting hat out of the pink witch's hat she wore for Halloween that was bejeweled and covered in flowers. She named it Tiffany after the bejeweled 'T' on it's backside.

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So there it finally is, after all those long, dreadfull months, and if you don't leave a good, long review, I. WILL. KILL. YOU. Ya got it? KILL. Now review! Oh, and also, just so you know, I plan on skipping to the Hogwarts Express in the next chapter. Also, due to popular vote, I'm not bringing back Rini.

But if you don't review, I'll either bring her back and Mary-sueify her, or drop the story all together. Remember, if I get a constent flow of reviews, you might just bug me into updating A LOT sooner than I planned. Sooo. . . . yeah. REVIEW!


	5. the train

Alright! I'm back from getting my bottom braces on (and my top ones tightened) and it hurts like someone keeps banging on them with a hammer! Joy! Now for the stupid DWN . . .

**_D_**isclaimer: don't own anything yet, but I'm sending my _uber_ secret militia of Flying monkeys to take over the world in like five minutes, so maybe soon!

**_W_**arning: Sirius goes bye-bye now. Sorry.

**_N_**ote: I'm skipping to the Hogwarts express in this chapter. Who really cares?

NOW ONTO THE AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . . . . I MEAN STORY!!!!!!!

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Serena and the golden trio ran through the barrier to platform nine and three quarters, followed closely by Fred and George ((remember it's the FIFTH year, so they haven't dropped out yet.)), Ginny, and Luna and Neville who they had bumped into at Diagon Alley. Anywayz . . . after a quick farewell to her cousin, Serena boarded the train, being careful as to not drop (cat)Luna and Artimus off of their current positions on either of her shoulders.

She waited for the others to get on, so they could all find compartments together, but as soon as they got on, Ron and Hermione hurried to the other prefects at the back of the train, ((I don't know, much less care, what books they become prefects in. this is _my_ fanfiction and I can do what I want to. …speaking of which, will Kelly C. please stop leaving negative pro/con lists, I repeat, will Kelly C. please stop leaving negative pro/con lists. Thank you.)), Bonnie(no offense to Fred) and Clyde went to go sit with Lee, and Ginny went to go find a boyfriend, followed closely in toe by Luna and Neville, who then (suddenly feeling attracted to each other because the authoress told them to) started to hold hands and make out randomly. ---leaving Harry and Serena all alone. MUAHAHHAHAHA!

So, Serena, being, well . . . Serena, grabbed a hold of Harry's hand and then proceeded to skip down the isle with a wide, happy grin spread across her face as she

—looking just like a chibi— chose not to notice that Harry was anime-sweat-dropping like mad and was now blushing fourteen different shades of red. Just like Ron's hair!

But as they went further down the isle, Serena tripped on something and fell flat on her face, causing both moon cats to jump off of her shoulders and Harry to be thrown off balance and stumble a little be for something, —or someONE— caught him. "Why, Harry!" Cho said sweetly as she pulled her leg back from where she had just tripped a certain moon princess, "Fancy running into you here! Listen, I heard about the whole He-who-must-not-be-named coming back thing and it must have been so traumatic for you! Tell me something, Harry. Cedric, before he died, did he say anythi—" her flirting came to an abrupt halt as Serena interrupted her, "eh-HEM!" she said, trying to remind Harry that she had just taken a painful fall.

"_Oh._" Cho spat out like venom, "_SO _sorry, didn't see you there. What're you doing on the floor, anyway? Go on, then! Leave. Me and my _boyfriend_ here are in the middle of a VERY important conversation. A blonde like you just wouldn't understand. Go on, then, move away, shoo-shoo!" Serena, at the sound of the word 'boyfriend', shot an accusing glare at Harry, who didn't get the chance to defend himself considering the fact that right at that moment, Artimus wrinkled his nose as he caught a familiar scent and ran as fast as he could towards the back of the train, forcing Serena and Luna to run after him as Cho tugged on Harry's arm and pulled him away.

Nobody seemed to notice the pair of grey eyes, partially cover by platinum blonde hair, that had watched the entire scene. So nobody noticed when he smirked and slowly made his way down the isle to follow Serena.

-Back with Serena-

Serena, with Luna on her shoulders, ran as fast as she could after the white moon-cat, so fast that, if anyone chose that particular moment to peek their heads out of their compartments, all they would see was a white blur, with a gold and black blur closely in toe.

When Artimus finally stopped at the very last compartment, Luna quickly jumped off Serena's shoulder's right before she lost all break control and slid smack-dab right into the wall.

She quickly got back up and, while rubbing the huge bump on her head, turned red with rage and prepared to yell at Artemis for running away like that when she saw that he had just opened the compartment door and decided to look inside. . .

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Well! That's it. Sorry it was short, but I have a huge test tomorrow and really need to get to bed. Ja!

(AND REMEMBER TO REVIEW!!!!!!!)


	6. jetlag, sugar, & Tiffany

Alright! I'm on a role. Well… here goes.

**_D_**isclaimer: the stupid flying monkeys got sidetracked when the crossed a banana farm.

DARN YOU CHIQITA BANANA AND YOUR IRRESISTABLE-NESS!!!!!!!!!!

**_W_**arning: still no Sirius. W/e.

**_N_**ote: I just sorta realized I gave you guys a cliffhanger. Well . . . I gave anyone stupid enough to be unable to figure it out a cliffhanger, anyway. (no offence)

anywayz . . .

ONTO THE STORY!!!!!

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"_Last time, on Sailor moon, we left off with me running into Harry's GIRLFRIEND! . . . or, so she says. And when Artemis ran off to find something, how is it familiar to me? And who's that following me? I don't know, but in the name of the moon, I will punish them!"_

(cut to sugar-high author singing intro-singing intro) 0.o

_Duh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duh-duh-duh-DUH!_

_Fighting evil by moonlight,_

_Winning love by daylight,_

_Never running from a real fight!_

_She is the one named Meatball Head!_

Serena: "SAILOR MOON, DARN YOU!"

_She will never turn her back on a friend,_

_She is always there to pretend-_

Serena: "DEFEND!"

_She is the one on whom we can depend!_

_She is the one named SER-RE-NA!_

Serena: "IT'S SAI- . . . . ah, close enough."

_She is the one named SER-RE-NA!_

_She is the one- Stupid-Blonde!_

Serena: "grrr. . . . . "

(cuts to commercial)

"_Are your teeth white? Well, you'll soon find out their not white enough with new Crest-"_

(Authoress fast-forwards with Ti-vo.)

(random picture of sailor moon with her princess dress on at Hogwarts with the name of the fan-fiction written in pink and gold cursive letters flashes on the screen, playing a short, piano version of the sailor moon theme song before a spinney, shiny, moon-logo thing erases it and it resumes your normal programming)

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Serena looked in the doorway of the large compartment in shock. "I- . . I thought you guys were dead." She stuttered. "We were," said the miko, "but Galexia gave us back our star seeds. "What about Amy, and Lita?" Serena asked. Rei just shrugged. "Their star seeds had too much damage." Mina said, causing Serena to spin around to face her. 

"Rei, Mina . . . who else is alive?" she asked as Mina, in reply, pulled up the top layer of what looked to be a pile of blankets making a visible Hotaru as Mina simply pointed at the firefly's head.

Things were about to get sentimental when the author decided that she was on too much of a sugar-high right now to write a serious chapter and so just then, none other than Draco Malfoy himself slammed the door open. ((and all the Tom Felton fans cheer))

"Well, look what we have here. It's Potter's new mudbloo . . . why, hello, hotties. And what, may I ask, are two beautiful young ladies such as yourselves doing here?"

however this comment only earned an eye-rolling from Rei, enough of a wake-up call to cause Hotaru to mutter and grunt a little before pulling the covers back over her head, and Serena anime-sweat-dropping and doing the anime-fall.((A/N: You know, when they turn completely upside-down?)) However, Mina quickly responded.

"Well, funny you should ask . . . " she started, right before Draco interrupted her. "Oh, sorry, Mudblood. Didn't see you there. So anyway---" now it was MINA's turn to interrupt HIM. "Hey! My names not mudblood! It's Mina! _But, you know, you can call me that if you want to." _She said in what she thought was a seductive manner as she winked at him suggestively.

Rei just shook her head as if saying _'When will she ever learn?' _while Draco, who was now totally freaked out, backed out of the compartment slowly, in hopes that she wouldn't notice and attack. And Serena got up, bearing her signature dizzy-swirly eyes with a huge bump on her head from anime-falling so hard.

-later-

Serena, Rei, Mina, and a very, very grumpy Hotaru walked cautiously off the train, into the carriages, into Hogwarts by themselves.

Serena looked around until she spotted the golden trio hanging out with the twins, the still-making-out (human) Luna and whatshisface, and the . . . uhhh . . . Ginny. The Ginny. She(Serena) noticed that as she lead her friends to them, Mina began to drool, causing Rei to roll her eyes, and Hotaru began to giggle uncontrollably.

…

Was she missing something? OH! She finally figured out the cause when they were a few yards from the group she was going to introduce them to, and Mina ran forward and started to uncontrollably flirt with Fred & George.

And after less than five minutes, she left into the great hall with a twin hooked onto either arm. Ahhh, good times, _good_ times.

So after they all got introduced, (except for Luna and Neville. Who **_STILL_** haven't stopped.) they walked into the great hall and sat at the Gryffindor table to watch the first years get sorted.

After the last first year was sorted into Hufflepuff and the yellow (or whatever the heck color they are) table cheered, Gandalf Santa Clause jr. the III (A.K.A – _Dumbelly-door_) stood up to make a boring speech.

"Now, as some of you may have noticed we have some new transfer students who will be sorted in just a moment, but first, I would like to introduce our new professors." At this this point, four all-too familiar looking figures stood up. WAY too familiar.

"Now, many of you may know Professor Lupin from two years ago, who has generously accepted our offer to resume teaching Defense against the dark arts for us, but, for those of you who feel uncomfortable with his . . . um . . ."

"special time of the month?" Serena suggested cluelessly and LOUDLY, to which everyone in the great hall replied in muffled giggles, or just full-blown _laughter. _—Leaving Serena with an extremely confused look on her face and a number of peoples faces red from laughing too hard.—

"Umm . . . yes, _that_." Dumbledore went on, trying to hide his school-girl-like giggling. "Anyway, for those of you who feel uncomfortable with . . . _that, _we have Professor Ten'oh ((A/N: I _so _forgot Haruka's last name!)) to assist him."

"Further more, Professor Tomoe ((A/N: Trista's, too!)), along with her colleague, Professor Neptune ((A/N: 0.o Yeah, I'm THAT forgetful)) will be, I'm sorry to say, replacing our . . . _beloved _divinations teacher, Professor Tree-loony- ahem, _TRELAUNY, _do to some suspicious ahem, _'pot'_ found hidden in the divinations classroom last year with the words, _'Note to self: hide this before the man brings me down some more!' _inscribed on it."

"So, without further speechy-thingys, BRING ON THE HAT! And make sure it DOESN'T grow legs and run off this time!" Dumbledore finished, looking exhausted from talking so much.

As instructed, McGonagall brought out the sorting hat for the second time, and brought out a short scroll.

"Ahem, Rei Hino!"

Rei stood up and slowly staggered up to the sorting hat, and sat lazily on the stool, (having been too busy talking on the train to take a nap to fight off jetlag) and put the hat on.

_My, my, look what we have here! You know, you'd be PERFECT in Sly-_

_Yeah, yeah, hat man. Look, I'm tired, so just put me in with Meatball head before I prove science wrong, that it IS possible for a hat to get third degree burns, got it?_

_HEY! That's not how it works! I sort people fairly! Now, if I say you'd be good in slytherin, then you get sorted into-_

_Grr. . . _

"_GRYFFINDOR!"_

(cheers from the scarlet/gold table- woot.)

"Mina Aino."

_Hmmm . . . I think Hufflepuff would be best fo-_

_Gryffindor._

_But-_

_Gryffindor._

_You can't just-_

_Hmmm . . . I wonder how well my Venus-love-me-chain would work on a hat . . ._

_Ahh, I can't take this anymore!!!! "GRYFFINDOR! This hat will now self-destruct in_ _five, four, three, two, one-" (boomness.)_

…

…

…

0.o

Everyone was silent for a second before McGonagall rolled her eyes and went to go get Tiffany.

"Hotaru Tomoe!"

_Okay, so, like, totally. What house do you want to be in?_

_. . . um. . . are you ALOWD to do that?_

_. . . do what?_

_You know, just ASK me to choose. Aren't you supposed to see which I'd be best in or something . . . _

_Choose._

_Uhh . . . I guess I want to be with Usa-mamma in Gryffindor, then . . ._

"_GRYFFY-SOMETHING!"_

0.o

Hotaru rolled her eyes and walked towards Serena. This would be a WEIRD year.

* * *

Well! there you go. review or I'm not updating. MORE than one review plz. I need to know that _LunarStar Princess Krystal_ isn't the ONLY person reading this story. What the crud ever happened to Elky anyway? Elky-I haven't been over to your house in a while, cuz of, well . . . Ashley. But when I do come next time, you're DEAD if you don't review this chapter. 


	7. Apology Scripts

PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE!

Hey everyone! I actually have the next few chapters of this story saved on Word, but that got deleted from my computer -.-

So untill I can remember what was in the next chapter heres a series of pointless sidestory and "deleted scene" scripts I made that take place a few weeks before they go to Hogwarts. (keep in mind that WordPAD does not have spellcheck)

Disclaimer:any resemblence to actual robots would be really cool.

now, on with the scripts!

* * *

**-SCRIPT ONE- **_**Singing**_

Serena: La la lalalala la la!

Fred: why are you singing?

Serena: I don't know. Why is George singing?

George: Bu dududuh dududuh BUH!

Fred: O.o

George: Sirius! fifteen hour drum solo!

Sirius: A dream is a wish your heart makes- -hiccup-

Serena:(Smacks head) Alright! Who told him where I hid the fire whiskey?!

Sirius: Not fire whisky! Just plain licor, my dear watson! ...AH! IT'S THE ANGEL AGAIN!!!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!

Serena: (sweatdrop)

Fred(ignoring them): oh well! If you can't beat 'em., join 'em! (joins George in his bududududuh-ing)

Serena: la lalala lala la!!!!!!!!!

Sirius: ...When your fast -hiccup- asleep, in dreams you can...-BURP!-

(Harry Hermione, and Ron walk up)

Hermione: Is EVERYONE musical today?!

Chibi chibi: chibi chibi chibichibi!

Harry(seeing what serena is doing): Umm... la lalala la lala LAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Everyone:(quiet)

Fred: You sound horrible!

Sirius: quite.

Everyone:"..."

Sirius: . . . . yo ho! yo ho! A Pirates life for-

Ron: That's not the same song.

Sirius: It appears so.

Everyone: " . . . "

George: Thanks for ruining it, Harry!

Chibichibi: CHIBI!

Harry: But . . . I . . .

(everyone walks away)

Harry: . . . meanies.

* * *

**-SCRIPT TWO- **_**AU?**_

Hermione(whispering): You know this is technically an AU fanfiction now, right?

Ron: . . . A whaty-what-what?

Hermione: AU! Alternate. Universe!

Ron: Oh. Why?

Hermione: North America has a new Sailor moon season coming out! I saw it on-

Ron: Psshhft. Only _YOU_ would know that, _NERD!_

Hermione: Ronald! Honestly!

Ron: Who the bloody hell is Sailor Moon Anyways?!

Hermione: SERENA!

Ron_: Ner-erd!_

Hermione: Well, I guess it's only fanmade so we can't really get sued . . . But the first episode's July 27th! We're running out of time Ron, WE'RE RUNNING.OUT.OF.TIME!

Ron:OK! Calm down! I'll distract the lawers, You kill them!

Hermione: O.o ... Wha- WHAT?

Ron: _IT'S THE ONLY WAY! _If Serena finds out Dariens alive, then WE HAVE.NO.ROMANCE IN THIS STORY!!!!

Serena: WHAT? My Darien is alive?!

Ron and Hermione at the same time: NO! (they push her back into the room that she randomly popped out of---(She's still trying to get to know Harry--- TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS!))

Ron: So, as I was saying, If Seren-- I mean If um... SHE finds out that Whats-his-face is alive what romance will the story be left with?!

"..."

"..."

Ron: So, wanna go snog in that closet over there?

Hermione: (shrug) sure.

* * *

**-SCRIPT THREE- **_**Harry and Serena Finally get to know eachother. finally. (but the Author didn't type it)**_

Serena: So THAT's why J.K. Rowling had you go out with Ginny!

Harry: Yup. That's also why the author based this story before the Sixth year.

Serena: wow.

Harry: And I can't beleive what you said earlier. I never would have thought that THAT is the meaning of life!

Serena: Yeah! I know! When you think about it, though, It seems SO. OBVIOUS!

Harry: Yup. whover missed out on this conversation missed out on the chance of a lifetime!

Serena: Uh-huh!

* * *

**So, sorry about any inconvenience, but Untill I can remember where I wanted to go in the eighth chapter and finish retyping the seventh, I'll post some more of these, 'kay? I got tons. Also, I would like to clarify that I will be rewriting the sixth book after this, then the seventh if I feel like it. Voldemort WILL. NOT. DIE. in this fanfiction! it's only the fifth year. they're supposed to defeat him in the seventh. However, I AM putting Umbridge in the story. It's just fun to torture her! Well, bye!**


	8. crazy first morning

**Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_**--------------------------------------------------------------(some courthouse in my ImaGInaTIon----------------------------------------------**_

_**DARK MYSTERIOUS VOICE:**_ So based on the evidence I have seen today, I hereby sentence Tsuki no Koneko to a thousand kajillion years of eating vegetables and spagettios, AND NO JUICE, for pretending to own Harry Potter, Sailor Moon, and a quote off of Air TV!

_**Tsuki No Koneko:**_ huh? what? Wait a second... How did you guys get in here? My Imagination is the most secure, beautiful, care-free-

_**Random Jury dude:**_You only use this place to torture childrens show characters!!!!!!!!!!

_**Tsuki No Koneko:**_ And they deserve it too.

_**Barney:**_ I HATE YOU!

_**Tsuki No Koneko:**_ right back atcha!

_**DARK MYSTERIOUS VOICE:**_ ANYWAY, did you even hear me? I hereby sentence Tsuki no Koneko to a thousand kajillion years of eating vegetables and spagettios. AND NO JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOSH!!

_**Tsuki No Koneko:**_ NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PRECIOUS JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_**DARK MYSTERIOUS VOICE:**_ good. now que the theme song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

_"Fighting Evil by moonlight,_

_Winning Love by daylight,"_

Jasmine: "MY LOVE IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON_-"_

Me:"yeah, yeah, whatever. noone said sailor moon was gay for you, lesbo!

Anywayz,

_Never running from a real fight!_

_He is the one named Harry Potter!"_

Serena: "Ummmmmm...That's . . ._ different."_

_"He will always take the glory from his friends.."_

Ron: "THANK YOU FOR NOTICING. _Gosh!"_

Me: "YOU'RE the one who bribed me to say it-"

Ron: (GASP!) "YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

Harry: (UBERGASP!) "I Do not!"

Ron: "See? He even had to out do me on the gasp! Ubergasp? Who says that?! LOSERS WHO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT, THAT'S WHO!"

Harry: "I didn't SAY it, I simply... well... ubergasped."

Ron: "that sounds alot like throwing up to me..."

Harry: "yeah, it sorta does I gu-"

Me: "BACK TO THE SONG NOW!

_He is sometimes there to defend-"_

Harry:"HEY! I can't help it if I don't ALWAYS know EXACTLY WHEN voldemort's gonna attack, It's not like-"

_"He is the one on whom some can depend!"_

Harry: "I-Is she _Ignoring _me? ME?HARRY F-ING POTT_-_

_"He is the on named Harry-_

_Hairy dog!_

Ron: _"heh?"_

_Hairy legs and feet!_

_Hairy Arms!_

_Hairy hair and fur!"_

Hermione: "Huh?"

Me: "It rymes with what comes next..."

_His secret powers can't impress her!"_

Harry: "Serena is AWED by my magic! You'll se-"

_"No, he can't impress Sailor Moon!"_

Harry: "She's STILL ignoring me isn't she??? Will ANYONE PAY ATTENTION TO THE F-ING BOY WHO LI-"

Ron: "I'm sorry, what?"

Hermione: "we were making out."

_(guitar solo)_

_DUH duduh duduh dududuh_

_DUH dadadada dadah_

_DUH dudududuh!_

_duduh duduh dududuDUH!_

_"Fighting evil by moonlight,-"_

Ron: "I don't get the moonlight part-"

Me: ALRIGHT! That's it! I give up! Serena, just go ahead with the recap!"

Serena: "O...K... So, last time, on Sailor Moon, Rei and Mina somehow managed to get in the same house as me! Wierd coincidence, huh? But then the sorting hat went insane and blew up! Hotaru also got in gryffendore somehow, but she keeps rolling her eyes for some reason. And Hey! what's with all these new teachers? And why did the author not feel like typing in the part when Dumbeldore left the great hall to talk to some lady dressed in Pink?"

Me: "You're MOM, that's why!"

Serena: (crying) "SHE'S DEAD!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "Oh, big deal! Sirius's mom is dead and you don't see him wining about it!"

Serena: "I'm sure deep down He's reallly upset-"

* * *

_(At number 12 Grimmaulde Place, Sirius is throwing a party with all the characters that DON'T go to Hogwarts, a large banner is seen in the background that reads: 'Ding dong, the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead.')_

_(zooms in to show Sirus, Umbridge, Fudge, Voldemort, and a few random deatheaters and ministry officials playing spin the bottle)_

Voldemort spins the bottle and it lands on umbridge. "Alright, you two know the rules, five minutes in the closet, no coming out!" Sirius says drunkenly as he pushes a drunk umbridge and panicked looking voldemort in a broom closet, a green light seeps through under the door a second later.

_five minutes later..._

Voldemort comes out with Umbridge. "Wellp, _She's_ dead."

_And the room erupts in cheers_

_

* * *

_

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and some other losers I don't feel like mentioning were sitting in the great Hall enjoying their first brakfast since they'd come back to hogwarts when Ron pointed out something in the daily prophet. "Hey, It says here you know who killed some ugly ministry official!" "Ronald! don't you think you could be a little less insensetive than usual when talking about murder victims?" Hermione asked looking P.O.ed.

"Ah, lay off 'im Hermione. It's not like voldemort killing people is uncommon." Harry pointed out, reaching for a buiscut, "I mean He is a 'Dark Lord' ..." "Who's a dark lord?" Harry looked over to see Serena sitting down between Hermione and Hotaru (across from Rei, who was a seat away from Mina (who was sitting in between fred and george)) "you know, _you know who . . . _" Said Ron trying to drop a hint. It didn't get through. "Who Know who?" Serena asked, "You know, Voldemort!" Harry explained.

Serena watched as Hermione and Ron shivered at the name "does that always work?"

"Does what always work?" Harry asked."Voldemort!" Serena said watching them shiver again evil grin spread across her face. "voldemort voldemort voldemort!" She said as they shivered again. Her grin got yet even more evil. "I'll be right back." She said as she walked toward the teachers table.

They watched as she walked up to proffessor snape and handed him what looked like three galleans and whispered something ion his ear. Then walked back only to sit right back down and continue eating.

"What did you do?" Hotaru asked. "nothing." she said as she innocently took a bite out of her biscuit as she directed her attention to the to Snape, who was now standing up and clearing his throat to get the rooms attention. "Attention everyone!" He said to make sure all eyes were on him. "Voldemort" And with that he sat back down as the majority of the room shivered and Serena turned red trying to hide her giggles.

"Anyway, " Mina started, still trying to catch her breath (She was laughing, too, _obviously_.), "I've decide I know what to do first at hogwarts!" "What?" Serena asked, still trying to hide her non-stop laughter. "It's a secret. But I can tell you the secend thing!" "We don't really care . . . " Ron said ... um ... not really caring? yeah, let's goi with that! Anywayz, Mina suddenly got this really weird look on her face like she was about to freak out.

"No! You gotta hear it or it'll be stuck inside me forever like: _'growl, growl, growl' _And it'll claw at my thoughts untill it finally bursts out and takes over the world and nothing'll stop it and it'll destroy everything in sight and eat all humans and cuss at children and smoke and do drugs and blow things up with cherry bombs and burn hogwarts to the groud and eat the minister of magic and destroy all anime and manga and make nerds look cool and call everyone's mom's fat!!!! It's carnage, bloody f-in' _CARNAGE!!!!!!!" _Panting from exaustion after a nice rant, Mina's head fell tiredly on the table as she tried to catch her breath.

"O...k..." Rei said, a little weirded out, "for the sake of humanity, what's the _secend _thing you want do?"

"NOW YOU MADE ME LOSE MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!" Mina said, looking crazier than ever as she passed out and Serena, Rei, and Hotaru just sweat-dropped.

"Did She stay up all night eating Valentines Day chocolates and reading romance novels again?" Rei asked, looking over at Serena. "How should _I_ know?" Serena asked, pouting and crossing her arms, "I was only up HALF the night reading you're manga! For all I know, She could very well have fallen asleep right after after I did!"

"You meatball head!" Rei yelled. "Hey! Don't call me that!" Serena yelled, looking offended. Rei just sighed frustratedly ((Is that even a word?)) and started to drag Mina out of the great hall. (with Hotaru's help)

* * *

Well_, I_ certainly don't feel like typing anymore! School's starting in a week, and I want to refrain from writing anything untill then! R&R, blah blah blah, see ya! 


	9. crazy first morning pt 2

((Short chapter eight after chapter))

* * *

**_After Rei dragged Mina away...(RHYME!)_**

* * *

"Well," Serena said, "Ima go unpack" 

"You mean the house elves didn't do that for you?" Ron asked, "YES!" Hermione cheered, "Maybe they're FINALLY fighting for their rightfull freedom, maybe they-" "Nope I just had Rei put a sealing sutra(sp?def?) on it so they couldn't get to my diary." Serena said as she prepared to go back to her dorm.

"Why go to the trouble?", Ron asked with his mouth full of toast,

"It's not like there's anything intresting in it! I mean I read it like a hundred times when you were watching that 'Naruto Hundo' thing on the muggle screen all that weekend before we went to Diagon Alley and it was all about boys you thought were cute and the meaning of life and something called a 'special time of month' and crap. Hey, are you a wherewolf? 'Cuz if you are, I'm cool with it and all, just, you know, stay FAR away from me and-"

Ron could have finished talking, if it weren't for him suddenly finding himself laying on the floor with a bleeding mouth and a giant stinging red mark on his face.

He looked up just to see Serena marching away furiously.

* * *

**_(up in the commen room)_**

* * *

Serena was marching up the stairs to the girl's dormatrys(fancy word!), red, with anime vains on her forehead and a scowl on her face. 

"Why that little!" she muttered angrily as she slammed the door open to her dorm.

She walked past the now concious Mina, who was decorating her quarter or the room with hot pink flowers, orange hearts, light pink paint, orange sparkly curtains, a three lights poster (with her picter glued in next to Yaten), and, of course, a giant book shelf full of romance novels and Sailor V games.

. . . It sort of looked like cupid threw up. Or, I guess, _Venus_ in this situation.

Then she walked past the now _unconcious _Rei, who'd probably passed out trying to stop Mina's madness, and now lay on the floor with swirls for eyes.

Then walked past Hotaru's bed (which the author didn't feel like describing), and to her trunk.

But then she noticed three holes at the top of it, and pulled off the sutras and opened the trunk quickly, to find, instead of her teddy bear, a sleeping chibi chibi.

Suddenly the door opened and hermione came in with an envelope. "It's from Mr. Weasly... " She said as Serena ran over and grabbed the letter from her:

_Serena, _

_UM... Hey! How's it going? __Well... err... don't be alarmed, but Remus put my wife and I in charge or your sister while he was teaching at hogwarts, and err... well, she was taking a nap, and she suddenly seems to have turned in to a teddy bear. Does this happen often?_

_From, _

_Aurther whatevermymiddlenameis Weasley_

And Serena Anime fell.

Review.


	10. NOTE! II: revenge of the sith!

Disclaimer: I own ALL material in this chapter. XD

**ATTENTION: due to the three recent story alerts I've gotten, expect a new chapter this weekend.**I was supposed to update now but I have to sleep and I have Finals all week :( but I'll post sometime on Saturday-- use this opportunity to get out any suggestions before then. byes!

P.S.: I'll start posting each new chapter after 4 to 7 reviews, depending on how grumpy I am :)


	11. Trouble

**Author**: sorry took sooo long to update! I was SOOOO unbeleivably busy. Oh yeahs, I don't own nothin' but my gun

_guuuunnn.... _(hugs gun)

but the fic's not dead, I promise.

**Serena**: O...k....

aaaannnddd go!

* * *

"_Last time, on Sailor moon, Ron read my DIARY! And that's all that matters because Ima get him back next chapter. In the name of the moon, I will punish him!"_

(cut to sugar-high author singing intro-again) 0.o

_Duh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duh-duh-duh-DUH!_

_Fighting evil by moonlight,_

_Winning love by daylight,_

_Never running from a real fight!_

_She is the one named Meatball Head!_

_She will never turn her back on a friend,_

_She is always there to pretend_

_She is the one on whom we can depend!_

_She is the one named Meatball Head!_

_She is the one named Meatball Head!_

_She is the one- Sailor-blonde!_

_..._

**Serena**: (foaming at the mouth)

**Hermione**: "Wow. I'm proud of you. You didn't interupt her once!"

**Serena**: "GO CHOKE ON A (sensor) AND DIE, YOU STUPID (sensor)ING B-"

(cuts to commercial)

"_Are you depressed? Well, you'll soon find YOUR groove with our new product: crack! symptems: may cause-"_

(I fast-forward with Ti-vo and giggle.)

(random picture of sailor moon with her princess dress on at Hogwarts with the name of the fan-fiction written in pink and gold cursive letters flashes on the screen, playing a short, piano version of the sailor moon theme song before a spinney, shiny, moon-logo thing erases it and it resumes your normal programming)

* * *

Serena woke up the next morning to find that Hotaru had gone missing.

"Oh noes!!!" she cried, waking everybody else up.

She ran over to Hotaru's bed to find a note that read:

_Cho chibichibi chi chibi chibi Chibi-chibi bi chibchibi chibi chibichibichibi chibi, chi chibi chibi bi. Chibi chib,cho chibibi chibi. Cho chibi chi chibichibi chibi bi Chib-chibi-chan chibi chibi. C.B.: Chibi-chibi bi chibi._

_-chibi_

_"oh noes!" _she cried again.

"what does it say?!?!?!" Mina asked, worried."read it out loud."

"okays! it says,

_'I've decided to leave and give chibi-chibi my bed. I haven't been murdered or bound and gagged and locked in a closet at all, so don't come looking for me. In fact, I've commited suicide. I've left my belongings behind and Chibi-Chibi-chan can have them. P.S: Chibi-Chibi is awesome._

_-Hotaru'_

"She even wrote it in chibi talk so no one else could understand!"

"...

"but saturn doesn't even _know_ chibi-talk..." Rei pointed out.

"DON'T YOU SEE??? That just means she's been planning this long enough to _learn_ chibi-talk for it. Oh it's all your fault!! You should have seen the signs!!!!"

"Ok, 1) that makes no sense. and 2) It's _MY FAULT?!?! _You're Chibi-chibi's _MOTHER!!!! YOU _should've prevented her from murdering someone! Speaking of, how the hell did Naoko Takeuchi make _you_, a _15 year old _girl, have two kids without coming off as a slut??? I mean _REALLY?"_

suddenly the background behind Serena became flames instead of the room. "I HAD THEM IN THE _FUTURE_ WITH MAMO-CHAN!! REI, YOU MEANY!!!!!! I hate you, hate you, hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed back. "Besides, are you suggesting that Chibi-chibi killed her? It clearly says in the letter that she killed herself! Chibi-chibi's just an innocent little girl!!"

(camera zooms in on chibi chibi, who quickly hides the knife she was just sharpening)

"Chibi!" she yelled cutely.

0.o

Mina quickly inched away.

* * *

**(later, at lunch)**

* * *

Harry stopped staring at Serena for a second and acted like he just noticed something. "Hey, where's the purple one?" He asked, confused. Serena looked confused for a minute."I don't remember" she said, shrugging. "Oh well, I'm bored. Hey, why were you staring at me again?" "...I... wasn't.... it was all an illusion!!! wooooo!!!" he said an a demented voice. She stared for a second and shrugged again. "whatever, I'm done eating. I gotta go get into trouble like all good heroines do!"

"Did I hear trouble?", Draco suddenly popped up."My middle name is trouble!"

"Draco _Trouble _Malfoy?" Ron laughed, "could you get any more lame?"

"shuddup. As I was saying, I'm CLEARLY the villian of the parts of the story that happen at Hogwarts. So what would make you _MORE_ in-trouble and in-need-of-rescue than to go on a date with me? Think of the plot!!!"

Serena thought for a moment. "What?"

Draco let out an aggravated sigh. "I mean, you're so cute! let's go on a date!" Serena shrugged. "Ok! let's go!"

* * *

and the rest of the scene went alittle something like this:

**Harry**: WTF???

**Mina and Pansy**: NO!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!!

**Rei**: ...(sweatdrop)

**Ron:** Well, it makes sense. She's not _supposed_ to be with the hero at this part of the story. She's supposed to fall in love with the atagonist's fake charm and make a dramatic decision of who to be with at the end. beside, this is a crackfic. She can end up with anybody. _the readers just have to vote in the Author's new poll on her profile... (hint, hint)_

**Mina:** I could care less who _Serena_ ends up with!!! _SOMEBODY LOVE ME, DAMMIT!!!_ YOU!-(points to Harry) SAY YOU LOVE ME!

**Harry: **Oh _God, _no!(runs away)

**Mina:** (chases after him)..

**Harry(in the distance):** _I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!_

**Rei**: 0.o

**Ron:** How come you never chase me like that, Hermione?

**Hermione**:...

**Neville and Luna:** (making out)

...

**Author:** well, I'm sure as heck not writing anymore tonight. R&R. I'm going to start updating this at least once a week so get your ideas in in the next few days or they won't be used. MoonGirl: out. (drops mike and walks off stage)

**Mike (from Twilight):** OW! where's Bella? Beeeeellllllllllllllllllaaaaaa?????????????


	12. Date with a badboy

**Author**: sorry this update took so long. I know I promised it wasn't dead, but then I accidently shot it with my gun....

Disclaimer: I hate disclaimers. You know what? I own Sailormoon. I own all of it's characters and even the action figures of said characters. I also own Twilight, Harry Potter, Russia, Germany, and Canada. And you know what else? I own John McCain and Barack Obama. The whole election was a show for my amusement!!!!!!! Muahahaha!!!!!

aaaannnddd go!

"_Last time, on Sailor moon, something bad happened!!!!!!! I think......then this guy totally told me I'm cute and asked me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squeel* and even though I'm totally all over this guy in the show apparently in the intro before any sort of climax I think there's something "fishy" about him! If he tries for third base, in the name of the moon, I'll punish him!!!"_

(intro)

_Duh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh-duh-duh-duh-DUH!_

_Fighting evil by moonlight,_

_Winning love by daylight,_

_Never running from a real fight!_

_She is the one named Sailor Moon!_

_She will never turn her back on a friend,_

_She is always there to defend--_

_..._

**Harry**: wait. wait. WAIT. 3rd base??? What if he tries 2nd?????!!!!

**Serena**: huh?

Harry: you said-

**Hermione**: Did no one even notice the author didn't mess up the theme song this time?

Harry: SHUT UP! Serena? Hello?

Draco: Sorry, she has plans

Harry: WHY YO--

(cuts to commercial)

"_Are you poor? Can you not afford a snuggie? Well, sob no longer homeless man down the street! With the new, Backwards Robe!! Just take ANY robe and-"_

(fast-forward with new AT&T u-verse)

(random picture of sailor moon with her princess dress on at Hogwarts with the name of the fan-fiction written in pink and gold cursive letters flashes on the screen, playing a short, piano version of the sailor moon theme song before a spinney, shiny, moon-logo thing erases it and it resumes your normal programming)

*montage of serena and draco's datey thing to "Is it Love" by P!nk*

Serena walked down the streets of hogsmeade with Draco, her left hand holding his loosely, her right gripping a massive teddy bear.

"Thanks for a great montage!!!", she beamed. "What now?"

"Well why don't you just follow me into this dark alley to thank me for that cliched carnival prize I somehow won you even though we're not at any sort of amusement park"

"Yeah, I was wondering about---wait. Did you say dark alley? OMGZ I love being too trusting and following people I don't know into dangerous places!!!!!! How did you know??"

Draco smirked, "Don't worry you're pretty head off, us villianous types are smoother than glass"

"villian? O.o?"  
"I mean......omg you are SO pretty I bet you'd look even prettier in that dim lighted alleyway!!"

...

She smiled "Ok! let's go!"

_______*~*_____mEaNwHiLe_____*~*____

**SOMEWHERE ELSE IN HOGSMEADE:**

The Golden Trio was walking in a tight-nit group, avoiding anyone not cool enough for them.

A gust of harsh winter winds hit them, chilling Ron and Hermione, who inched closer. Yet Harry only sighed, the fear of what might be happening on Serena's date was chilling enough.

*sigh

Ron and Hermione walked on, touching shoulders-close, trapped in their own thoughts.

*SIGH

still walking

***SIGH**

walking

_*** S I G H ! ! !**_

"OMIGOD Harry, are you having a seizure????"

"*sigh....glad you asked, Ron, I _am_ upset."

Ron twitched, and braced himself for a full dose of Harry's feelings.

"I'm just worried about Serena, you know Malfoy.....I just don't trust him."

"-.-' .....yeah, harry, I don't really care....."

"Trust her judgement? That's crazy talk!"

"I'm going to make out with Hermione in that dark alley and ignore you now...."

"Stop trying to calm me down, I have to find her!!!"  
"Oh crap draco's kiss-raping Serena in that alleyway, Hermione. Let's find another"

"Okay! That one's free--"

"OMIGOD guys! look over there!!!! Serena's in trouble!!!!"  
"yeah, I already noticed...."

"This is no time for compliments! Anyone could notice a damsel in distress!"

"I DID. Before you...."

"Nah, you're right, i AM special!"  
...

Ron gave up on talking and Harry ran as fast as he felt was dramatic enough towards the girl he was on deep, romantic, meaningful 15-yr-old love with and tore Draco off

"Unhand her, you fiend!!!"

* * *

)*************CLIFFHANGER!!!!***********(  
)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(

**Author:** well, there you go, CresentMoonRose. Another chapter. Welcome :)

R&R people!!


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